…my expertise

I’m never very far into a book when I turn it over to read the back flyleaf. What qualifies this person to write a book, what is the author’s background and education? What can I learn from this person? Is she an expert?

Yo me,
I don’t really have any time to learn be an expert at writing. I’m too busy honing my expertise in every other area. This is crazy. What makes me think I can do this?
I think that it’s Mommy power that makes me think I can do anything. My life affirmations originate from the notes on the fridge. Today, it’s the one that says, “Because I said so.”
There’s something to be said for absolute power corrupting absolutely.[1]
So I’m writing… still. T.

So what qualifies me to write a book? I should say right up front—I’m self-proclaimed. Watch and listen closely. Here goes: “I’m an expert; a specialist with opinions on life.” I just said I am, so I am. “And I am writing a book.” See, there it is again, because I said so. You can skip over the back cover because it’s right here in black and white. I am an expert.

Television fuels my delusions because “expert” no longer means anything, particularly in the area of tags on unmentionables. If a professional sports figure or a martial artist can be a BVD professional, then I guess I can be an expert on life! Who knew!

Truthfully, I don’t know everything about most things, but I know enough to be dangerous and sometimes that’s funny. Naiveté and ignorance are bliss and can prove to be hilarious.
In my effort to validate myself and refine the word expert, I consider all the brilliant businessmen whose expertise is in fraud and deception. If those are necessary attributes to being successful, then here I am—again uniquely qualified because I’m a Mother.

And I’m writing a book because I am an expert!

To me,
It’s okay to say I’m an expert. An amateur fears he’ll make a mistake, but an expert plans on it and can fix it, or at least put a good spin on it.[2] And boy, am I spinning, T.

The world abounds with self-proclaimed experts like me; doctors of theology that are experts at family therapy and actors that are experts on political events. When they appear on talk shows discussing the topic of the day, I listen avidly, particularly to the actor/doctor. I never know what valuable medical tidbit I might gain.

I do harbor doubts once in a while. If they are reputable actors, haven’t they spent most of their time honing that expertise? If notoriety validates, I’ll be even more reputable!