Saturday's all me--T.

So I'm writing... sitting in front of the computer and organizing the desk, sharpening pencils, checking the internet...

1. What time is it: 12:45 p.m. or a.m. It doesn’t matter, I’m always hungry.

2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Terina Deedelbaum Atkinson Darcey (11 syllables? Picture introducing yourself at a cocktail party. See why the nickname!)

3. Nickname: Nina Dee. It’s because people can't get either name right, so we’ll simplify the issue.

4. Piercing: Two (one in each ear) and a myriad of oozing holes elsewhere, compliments of the insect world.

5. Eye color: green hazel today, but most times they are mere slits, too small and suspicious to tell.

6. Place of birth: This planet, despite accusations to the contrary.

My serenity pose after seven days on a beach.  2014
7. Ever been to Africa: NO, but I do have my own little nature reserve right here with examples of all types of animal behavior.

8. Ever been toilet papering: If it involves toilet paper, I've done it, but I don't think that means what you think it means.

9. Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes, and scream, and yell, and curse and etc...

12. Been in a car accident: Life is one big accident, just waiting for me to happen.

13. What do you do most often when you are bored: write, write, write, trying to make sense of life.

8. Favorite ice cream: Ice cream is inherently gross. It’s too sweet and it makes your tongue slippery and your teeth all glossy. What is it creating inside you, a seven peaks slip and slide?

14. Favorite day of the week: I'd have to say one where all the family is home... so  I can chore-out all the mundan-ities.

15. Favorite restaurants: Restaurants! Haven't I already warned you? Hepetitis, if you continue to frequent those places!!! Okay, okay, fast food?    I guess that would be whatever is rolling around the floorboards. Snag it!

21. What color is your bedroom carpet: Who looks at the carpet and how? I sleep looking at the ceiling! I'll run up to check. Who can see their bedroom carpet? You people need to get more clothes!

22.  Cat or dog? CAT, which just exemplifies the insanity of me willing to take on another unfeeling soul that just takes and takes and takes.

23  If the numbering bothers you, see a professional about your OCD.

24  Favorite TV Shows:  There is nothing good on.  The cable telephone sales guy won't even carry on a reasonable conversation after he finally pries out of you that you have no TV.

36. How many tattoos do you have?  None--sticky or otherwise. My dream one would be a notation on my back just above my pant line that said, This is a butt crack. If you are viewing it, insert a coin because I'm dead. Seek out a good carpenter or plumber.

37.  How many times did you fail your driver's test: Is this significant? Perhaps to tell whether I am a lackadasiacal individual, or that I resist conformity? Perhaps I should have failed it and I never did? That is what is wrong! I have to go back and retake my drivers license and fail so I can set all to rights in my universe! I'm on it!

23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last text? I've slept since then! Who remembers this stuff and where do you look it up?

37. Which came first. Chicken or egg? What does this reveal? Come on, I wanna know! In the big picture, does this question matter? Maybe each of you could spend a few moments brainstorming the big life questions that I have? Where do the odd socks go? What psychosis is it that forces me to house their neglected mates forever? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DOES ONE WORK THE SCANNER?

38 Who will respond to this challenge the quickest: No one. I hope everyone else has something else that is much more important. My friends seem to always have something else to do and can't even be bothered to check on me or even click like.

29. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire: I don’t care. I really want to know what else you are doing right now? What are your plans for the rest of the day. What are you wearing, planning for dinner tonight and does it include a recipe for leftovers?

30.  Time it took to take this test:  15 minutes.   (fifteen minutes gone- gone and never retrieved again! Remind me to copy this and keep it on hand for just such an occasion in the future!

30.  How many people are you tagging with this? I'm tagging everyone who cares, one-maybe. My daughter who pretends to care because I have her number and I can make her life really miserable.

Arms and legs in and have a nice ride,



…vacation sick leave

Up Haleakelah 2007
The phrase “relaxing vacation” is anathema for the husband! If I enjoy myself too much, I won’t want to go home, so he makes it his goal to assure that our vacations are fun-filled and action-packed—the quintessential adventure. In other words, (mine) "they’re perfectly wretched."

To me,
The trip was torture, not because of accidents, lost tickets, misplaced luggage, or poorly planned accommodations—Oh no, that could never happen because he is a vacation professional. Each detail, every moment is meticulously planned.           Nuts, T.

My idea of relaxing, Hawaii 2014
The husband tries to mitigate my mutterings, and suggests we take turns planning the vacations.

But if it were up to me, I’d show up at the airport, wait on stand-by for the first flight to any beach, and hit a clothes shop and a bookstore on the way.

He researches for months, makes detailed plans, and then collects the travel guides (our record-breaking travel guide collection is on the list of national landmarks, right below the biggest gopher mound in Arkansas). He evaluates climate and pours over the atlas—the silent holder of every vacation secret—all while surfing the net to get the best deal. For him, anticipation is the best part of the trip. Our vacations are purposeful and deliberate—orchestrated miseries.

His idea of relaxing, HI 2014
To me
This is the last time I talk him into a beach vacation. I try to bask, and we para-sail. I want to beach-comb, he wants to sand-sprint, I want to meander through shops, while he bargains, deals, and brainstorms, then I’m exhausted and ready for a vacation! T.

I could be just as happy sitting at home with a good book while he took the children on vacation! I want to relax!

Reality Bite: My idea of a vacation includes healthful sanatoriums and several months at Bath, or in the bath.  After his vacations, people take sick leave.    Ah, but that's another story.