Check in the Mail

…check in the mail

If you make a mistake, somebody will sue you. But don’t worry, that’s why we have lawyers and insurance—to make everything all better. (Remind me to put one on retainer after I finish this.)

To: thewholefamily@wig.out
I found myself trying to explain the Trail of Tears to my son, but stopped myself when I called the protagonists, we.
We did not do that. Just because I happen to have European ancestors, doesn’t mean I am automatically responsible for every sin against mankind!

I’ve got to get over the guilt! How can I beg forgiveness for something I didn’t do? How much of what happened before I was born am I still responsible for? Whew! I didn’t enslave anybody: I don’t own a gas chamber. I never riot and I feel really bad about prison camps. I wasn’t here when Columbus came—I’m not even Italian. The pizza man will have to take the blame for that one.

I won’t forget and I’ll do my part to avoid repeating history, but I’m not taking the blame anymore. I had ancestors that were stripped of their livelihoods, their homes ransacked and burned, forced to leave not one, not two, but three different cities. They had every hardship perpetrated by the governing officials, and I’d like reparation. Nope, didn’t think so.

To: thewholefamily@wig.out
“Where are my reparations?” Woops, some political action group beat me to this and the second anything becomes politicized, it’s ruined. Forget that idea. My insults are equal opportunity!

I can’t exact revenge on the dead nor can I apologize for them. It’s even more difficult to pay reparations to them, but I’ll be glad to write a post-dated check and they can come after my progeny to collect.

Reality Bite: Maybe everybody just wants somebody, somewhere to say, “I’m sorry that happened and I’ll try to never let it happen again.” That, I can do, (with prejudice.) (That means in legalize, that it can never be brought up again.)