..nice v. mean

I'm imagining what might have happened if I had apologized to the postal worker with the "rules" of apology: first, said I was sorry, then second, admitted my bad at parking in front of the box.  Third, I could have reaffirmed the problem from his perspective and fourth, promised never to do it again.

Would I have to slink away demoralized, or could I have emerged victorious in having the upper hand?

I thought I would test my theory. I hate visiting the doctor as medical receptionists are idiots who require unnecessary redundant paperwork and then the scheduler is an idiot for whom I have to wait an additional thirty minutes, the nurse is an idiot who can’t understand simple English and doctors are  idiots (medical automatons) who throw pills at problems.

However, I was willing to put nicety to the test and off I went to my di-annual (once a decade) doctor visit to put it to the test.

After complimenting the intake clerk on her earrings, I had such a delightfully lengthy conversation with the scheduling receptionist that I was late for the doctor who was waiting for me in the room. The doctor was so amiable that she convinced me I really did need that eight-year over-due physical and I went right out to my new-found friend, the scheduling secretary and scheduled it!

Throughout the rest of the day, I ran a 3:1 ratio of nice to mean and was feeling heartened in spite of the dental receptionist who ignored me—a potential customer while I stood there in front of her at her desk and waited for her to acknowledge my presence, waiting and waiting twelve minutes and when she finally deigned to notice me, it was with disdain that I didn’t have ready answers to all the insurance questions that she asked and it was obvious that she didn’t feel it was her job to take the time to research this in between solitaire games. Whew!

But in retrospect, I should have admired her earrings and initiated conversation by asking how many solitaire games she’d won in the last half hour.

Conversely, a fast-food employee thanked me for coming and said that he “appreciated my business.”

A video rental clerk forgave my late return with a smile and a “that has happened to me and I work here,” response.

And three boy-scouting volunteers strolled with me patiently through the convoluted paperwork procedures, again and again and again.

All of these experiences combine to make me revise my opinions of mean people and realize that there are a whole lot of put-upon people who are sick and tired of it and my personal expectations need to be placed even higher.

If I would only expect the best… OF ME, they would respond accordingly. Up until now, I have made no effort to see the situation from the other side’s perspective, I have merely redirected my anger into vindictive pride.

To me,
I have been writing with pride in my heart, and that doesn’t make for a healthy soul. I must write to gain resolution, not to increase my anger nor harbor bitterness. Tear it all up and start over, T

Reality Bite: Flashes of inspiration aren’t accidental, but are God's carefully coordinated response to correspond with my current level of learning.

No comments: